1. 30% more women will try speed dating than men.  But, men will go speed dating 30% more often (luckily, as this means events are evenly balanced!)
2. In NYC, the world’s biggest city for speed dating, 12 companies offer around 100 events a month.  Bigger the city you live in, more events you can select.
3. If you enjoyed your experience and you choose to go again, your chances (in NYC) of having a speeddate with someone you met at a previous event is less than 1%.  But if it happens, don’t worry – it’s just three minutes!
4. 60% of women will come with friends, compared with only 10% of men. And guys, if you’re wondering whether you should limit your selections to just one of a pair of girlfriends, the answer is no – pick them both if you like them!  Same advice for women – if you both like a guy, you both should pick him.  Remember, you don’t know whether your pick will feel the same way, so it’s always best to err on the side of more selections!
5. Men will make twice as many selections as women, but both genders are picking more people now than they did in 2006.  It seems that the recession is encouraging people to open up to more dating possibilities.
6. Of those that make selections, 70% of men and 90% of women will get matches (”matches” are where there are mutual selections)
7. But, as the number of matches between the genders must be even, men who do get matches, get on average more matches than women!
8. The most common questions asked and answered are “What do you do?”, “Where do you work”, and “What do you do outside work?”, so if you want to make a memorable impression, ask something else!
9. 95% of men and 80% of women report a positive experience at speed dating.
10. The really interesting stats would be how many marriages, long term relationships, summer flings and one night stands come from speed dating. Well, no one knows, as participants tend to share this information infrequently. But we suspect, a LOT in every category!

Source:  ‘Want to try speed-dating? Consider these statistics…‘By Daniel B.

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Let’s talk strategy first.  With just minutes to connect with a prospective date, what’s the best way to spend that time?  To make a good impression, create a fun and comfortable exchange.  Ask questions that will help determine if we can carry a conversation.  No matter how curious we are to discover where she is from or what she majored in college, save those interview questions for later.  Our goal here is to have her enjoy the time, and invest in our interaction by talking most of the time.

Start off with a smile.  Women often decide if they like us or not within the first 30 seconds, so must do our best to appear confident and look like we are having a good time.  And we should be.  We just walked away from a bubbly kindergarten teacher who was our last date.  Plus, when we smile, we put the her at ease. That’s always a good strategy for getting to know someone.

What topics are good for these “mini-dates?”  Here’s a list of conversation starters to get the ball rolling easily.  These are opened ended questions that require a person to provide real information. Avoid yes/no questions which tend to create dead ends.  And, don’t forget that if we use these questions, be prepared with our own answers in case the tables are turned and we get asked the same thing!

• Tell me about your favorite vacation? What made it so good?
• If you had a day off next week and plenty of cash, what would you do?
• What makes you smile?
• What’s your favorite kind of food?
• If you could drive any car which one would you choose?
• What’s your favorite holiday memory?
• If you were an animal, what would you be?
• If you could try any job for one day – what would you choose?
• What do you do to relax?
• What’s your favorite movie and why?
• Would you rather spend a day in the woods or at the beach? Why?
• Tell me about a sporting event you’ll never forget

After our date responds, say something to acknowledge her by sharing our own perspective on the topic or say what we liked about the answer.  But we should keep our responses short.  Then we want have her invest more by asking follow-on questions.  Don’t worry about interpreting anything during the conversation itself.  Just remember our goal here is to get her invest more by talking most of the time.  And try keep the vibe fun and playful.

The most important thing about speed dating events is to relax and enjoy meeting new people.  Acquiring the skill for easy chit chat will serve us well in the long run.  Since we never know when we’ll meet “the one” or new friend who will introduce us to the right person, so get out there soon!

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But what about our other relationships? When we think about attraction, all research points to a face-to-face meeting. So why do we even bother with online dating?

Take a look at communication for example.  7% of communication between two people involves actual words. 38% is vocal (pitch, speed, volume, tone of voice).  55% of communication is visual (body language, eye contact).  Well, based on that we know that 93% of our communication is not verbal! (and I mean those stupid smiley faces in text messages  don’t count.)  And this is just the passing of information. Add in to that the impact of pheromones, touch and “chemistry” and all the mysterious things that make two people attracted to each other, then it is a wonder we even bother with online dating.

I guess we can argue that, in a crazy fast-paced work-obsessed world, we need the online dating to get to the real date.  The problem is, it’s too easy to spend hours looking through profiles, and even more hours with sending e-mails and arranging a first date.  Our chances of that first date being successful are low, as we’re making our decision based on a tiny fraction of the information (and not much better if we phone them).  By the same stats, our chances of eliminating someone as inappropriate, who might actually be a good match, is also high.  So we end up on a 2-3 hour, expensive date that goes nowhere.

So what do we do? Do we go to a bar? Nope.  Well we, as guys, know that we have to face rolling eyes, rejection, cold looks, “oh, I’ve got a boyfriend”, wasted money on drinks and no phone number… If you’re a woman, you have to deal being hit on by exactly the guys you don’t want to be hit on by.  And how about that client presentation tomorrow morning?  Not after we stay out until 3 a.m. this morning!

Do we go to Starbucks or the grocery store, or do we rely on our friends to set us up, or do we (shudder) date our work colleagues? The first is dreadfully inefficient, the second, most of us have exhausted all those options, and the last… well, how did that work out for us last time? Badly.

So, we go speed-dating.  It’s the perfect balance.  Check this out:

• We have between 10 and 30 dates of between three and eight minutes.
• Everyone at the bar is single, and everyone wants to meet someone, and there is no face-to-face rejection.
• The crowd tend to be more mature and professional.
• The sheer numbers allow choice and variety.
• Easy, laid back atmosphere creates a safe environment where everyone can be flirty and nice.
• Conversation is light, the atmosphere is relaxed, and adrenalin (and perhaps a bit of alcohol) drives a mood of flirtation.
• It’s inexpensive (how does $2 a date sound!), and it’s efficient.
• The evenings offered are split by age ranges and theme or ethnic/cultural background (”Sporty/Active Singles”, “Creative Singles”, “College Grads”, “Jewish Singles” etc), improving the likelihood that the pool of options shares our interests or background.

Now we can see why a speed dating event offers best bang for our buck.  When was last time we talked to 10 or more new women in two hours?

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Speed-dating events are usually held in restaurants and bars.  Participants are asked to register ahead of time to ensure an even ratio between men and women, although some services now offer registration at the door. Events cost approximately $20 to $40 per person.

Inside the venue, speed daters will find that tables are arranged to accommodate two participants at a time. One set of the speed daters, usually women, stay seated at the same table, and men move from table to table.  When the bell rings or buzzer sounds, the men move in predetermined order (i.e. next number up or down). The speed dater progresses from table to table until each participant has had a chance to meet the other.

Depending on the company, a speed date may last from three to eight minutes.  At the end of the date (three to eight minute interval), each dater makes a note if he or she would like to see the other person again. After that, the speed daters move on to the next table, and a new date begins.

The number of dates held in an evening can vary, but most services hold 10 to 20 dates.

In less than two hours, we have chance to talk to 10 to 20 women.  How many women did you talk to when you were out last Saturday night?

After the event, the speed daters turn in their date cards to event organizers. They may be contacted via e-mail the following day, or asked to log onto a Web site to enter the names or ID numbers of people whom they would like to see again. If two speed daters have registered a mutual interest in seeing each other again, the pair receives each other’s contact information. From there the couple can contact each other to arrange another meeting or date.

Well now we know what “speed dating” is.  And what happens at a speed dating event.  Next we’ll figure out why it is better for meeting women then a typical nighttime venue.

Source:  ‘How Speed Dating Works‘ at ‘HowStuffWorks‘

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I – N – V – E – S – T – M – E – N – T

That’s right.  We become attracted to anything that we invest our personal time, emotion, and energy into.  Therefore, the key to getting women to want you is to get them to invest in you.  Yes, it is that simple.

With investment someone’s attraction to you grows due to the time or effort they are investing in you.  If you can combine that time or effort with emotions, the amount of their investment multiplies many times.

This is one of the main reason, women feel attractions toward so called, “bad boys” or “jerks”.  Those types of guys don’t do things for women.  Instead, they make women do things for them constantly (Hey, I am not saying you should be one of those guys.  I am just saying that investment principle works, and works well)

Okay, guys.  The simple fact that she is talking to us at all builds her investment in us on a small scale.  This happens because we give greater value to things we have to work towards achieving.  This is why it is almost completely counter productive to attempt to buy your way into someone’s life, and why many dating experts agree that, “Can I buy you a drink?” is a bad way to start conversation with a women.

By investment we are not looking to invest into her, rather we are looking to get her to invest into us. The more we work to achieve something the more value it has to us.  Meanwhile any time another person is spending their time, effort or money on you they are making an investment and essentially attempting to build comfort with you, the effort the put in to you raising your value in their eyes.

There are a number of ways to get someone to invest time into us, however the easiest way is via conversation. A key point to note here is that she must be taking the time to invest effort into the conversation, and the more effort she put into the conversation the more she are investing, and therefore the more likely she will feel attracted towards us.

So how do we use the investment principle in speed dating?  Well, we get her to talk most of the time.  Our goal here is to get her to talk about things that are emotionally relevant for her like her childhood, hopes and dream, family, last vacation, so on and so forth. Got it?  Good.

Source: ‘Attraction Explained‘ by Adam Lyons

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Well…You Are Just Not My Type…(Part 2)

When she says to us, “You’re just not my type,” means, “You don’t fit my preexisting and neurophysiological real template of maleness.  And, furthermore, all of the neuroemotional development that mediates against the electrochemical activity of certain parts of my brain is insufficient for an intrapsychic event to occur with you.”

Well, that was a mouth full.  What does that in plain English?  It means you do not fit her sexual imprinting, “Love Map”, her mental image of what an ideal mate should be  (we say image but it includes more than just physical looks).   And that means no neuron exciting chemicals.  And no neuron exciting chemicals means that she doesn’t feel that “special feelings” for you.
When she says that, you can interpret it in several ways.  But it usaully means that your old Enron stocks will be worth more than Google stocks.  It also means that pig will lay eggs before she ever gets in bed with you.

Therefore, if getting physical, not friendship, is your goal, you might as well find another tree to bark up, unless of course, you want to stick it out until practically every other man in her life is pushing up daisies and you’re the last tuna left on the beach.

So what a guy to do?  Well, you have a few options:

1. You can hang around wait for her to see the light.  Hey, no two situations are alike.  I am not saying that it won’t happen but it will take time and patience on your part.  And a lot of both.     -OR-
   
2. You can forget about it and move on.  Hey, I know it’s hard but I think it is much better option.

Going back to our earlier article on How Quickly a Woman Sizes Up a Guy, we can see that the game is over before even we thought it started.  So what is best way?  AGAIN, WE JUST HAVE TO TALK TO MORE WOMEN!!!

Go back and read ‘Well…You Are Not Just My Type… (Part 1)’

Source:  Source: “Undercover Sex Signals” by Leil Lowndes

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You know the story.  You meet her where boys meet girls: at work, on Facebook, in a bar, at the gym, through a friend.  You find her cute, but it’s not love at first sight. No. It’s love at first conversation.

You take her out, or call her up—and just like that, you start spending time together.  You found yourself feeling remarkably clever: interested, and in equal measure, interesting.  She giggles from witty banter to searing insight to sexual innuendo.  Then it happens.  You feel tingling all over.

Before you know it, you’re calling her daily. Texting, e-mailing, IM’ing from work. You’ve never met a girl this witty, deep, and down-to-earth in your life. It’s almost like she’s not a girl (besides her wildly-increasing good looks). She swears like a trucker, jokes about sex, and eats and drinks you under the table.  But then there are other times, like when she strokes your hair, when she tells you that shirt looks good on you, or when she brushes her smoothly shaved legs against yours.

Soon, you can’t stop smiling around the office, remembering something she said last night.  You’re catching yourself doing the little things she says you do (e.g. avoiding confrontation, slouching).  Somehow it doesn’t bother you that she makes a point of correcting your flaws.  You find the sharp tongue sexy, and adore the cutting wit.

Then you begins to wonder.  Is she the one?  Could this be love? Sure, you two haven’t put a label on what you’re doing. But you don’t need to.  When you add it all up – how well she understands you, how quickly you two clicked – you know she is something special.  You have never felt so comfortable so soon with such a woman in your life.  You two share private jokes, Pad Thai, a Deep Connection, and movie nights.  You laugh and joke. She spends the night.  She sleeps in your bed.  You do things for her (i.e. heavy lifting); she chooses things for you (i.e. flat-front pants).

But you call her once, and there’s a guy in the background. When you call her back, she’s too tired to talk.  Something is changing with subtlety and suddenness, and you don’t know what it is.  Soon the signs are obvious.  There are other guys.  You turn to your  friends. They insist: she’s not that into you.

But what about that First Conversation? What about your Deep Connection? Unless she is a sociopath, she must be feeling something. How could you guys talk for six hours straight if you didn’t share a mutual bond? Why did she spend the night last night if she doesn’t know what she wants?  How do you explain how she makes you feel, if she’s not that into you?

Well, honestly, you are just not her type…But what the hell does that mean?

Source:  Source: “Undercover Sex Signals” by Leil Lowndes

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You know the type.  She might be a newly hired marketing girl with high heels, a short skirt, and librarian glasses.  Or might be a sexy bartenderess in a tight t-shirt and jeans with a lower back tattoo showing as she bends over to grab your next round of beer.

Either case, when a woman sees you, she has decided on the spot into one of following categories:

1. Winner:  She thinks, “Ooh, he is so cool!”  She wants you! And unless you do something really dumb to screw it up, it’s a sure thing.
2. Possible:  She thinks, “Hmm, not bad.”  But the jury is still out on you.
3. Loser:  She thinks, “I hope he doesn’t try to hit on me.”  You have to be pretty swift to turn this one around.
4. F.U.C.:  (Funny Undesirable Creep):  She thinks, “Yuuuuch!”  This is where the description, “Creepy” gets used.  Give up.

All this happens within in a very short time, like less than 30 seconds!!!

Oh, sure there are some migrations among the categories but that take a lot of time and resources, both are in short supply these days.

For an example, let’s say out of ten girls we talk to today (you are talking to girls everywhere, right?), 1 or 2 will put us in “Winner” category, and 1 or 2 will put us in “F. U. C.” category.  Well, then 6 to 8 of them will put us in “Possible/Loser” categories.

Hmmm, so what do we have to do to increase our chances with opposite sex?

WE HAVE TO TALK TO MORE OF THEM!!!

Yes, it’s a numbers game.  Pretty obvious right?  Well, why one category over the other?  That depends on her “Love Map”…

Source:  Source: “Undercover Sex Signals” by Leil Lowndes

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Welcome to Speed Dating Manifesto!

Hi, You are about to learn secrets that most people will never know about dating.

Several years ago, I reached a point where I was so sick of not meeting women, that I made a decision to “figure it out” for myself. I went out and I read every book, I went to every seminar and I listened to every audio and video course on meeting women and getting dates. Then I hit so-called ‘pick-up’ venues, like bars and nightclubs.

You know what?

It was all “hit and miss” stuff, worked sometimes, didn’t work other times. It didn’t matter at first. I went out four or five nights a week. Don’t get me wrong. I had fun and met some interesting people.  Then my professional life began to suffer. It wasn’t a rocket science to figure out why. I was staying out until four in the morning then going to work exhausted. It just didn’t feel right. And the women I met were not the type that I was looking for.

So I spent the next few years getting to know and really studying men who were experts with women and dating. And I saw things, and I learned things, that I could not have imagined.

Well, after I learned these things, I looked at what is biggest roadblock of meeting women for most guys. And you know what?

THE BIGGEST PROBLEM MOST GUYS ENCOUNTERED IS ACTUALLY THE “MEETING” ITSELF.

Guys, if we really get down to the core of problem, it is very simple. We have to simply meet more women. So how many women did we talk to last time you were out? We are talking about strangers, not our sister-in-law or our buddy’s fiancé. Yeah, exactly. Most men talk to one maybe two new women every time they go out.

BUT WHAT IF WE CAN TALK TO 15 TO 30 WOMEN EVERY TIME WE GO OUT? WE ARE TALKING ABOUT 1500 TO 3000% INCREASE IN OUR NUMBER!!!

And we are gonna talk about:

• How to start a conversation with a woman without fear of rejection.

• How to dress and leverage what you have to make you stand out from rest of the other guys.

• What to say to get her to open up during your time with her.

• How and what to do to get her to become more attracted to you.

• How to flirt using eye contact and body language, so that women respond.

• What to do and say to after the event for follow-on dates.

• Fun places to take women out on dates that are free, so that you don’t have to pay for dinner anymore.

• And much more…

You’ll know within 60 seconds what took me months, or even years to figure out. So let’s get started.

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