But what about our other relationships? When we think about attraction, all research points to a face-to-face meeting. So why do we even bother with online dating?

Take a look at communication for example.  7% of communication between two people involves actual words. 38% is vocal (pitch, speed, volume, tone of voice).  55% of communication is visual (body language, eye contact).  Well, based on that we know that 93% of our communication is not verbal! (and I mean those stupid smiley faces in text messages  don’t count.)  And this is just the passing of information. Add in to that the impact of pheromones, touch and “chemistry” and all the mysterious things that make two people attracted to each other, then it is a wonder we even bother with online dating.

I guess we can argue that, in a crazy fast-paced work-obsessed world, we need the online dating to get to the real date.  The problem is, it’s too easy to spend hours looking through profiles, and even more hours with sending e-mails and arranging a first date.  Our chances of that first date being successful are low, as we’re making our decision based on a tiny fraction of the information (and not much better if we phone them).  By the same stats, our chances of eliminating someone as inappropriate, who might actually be a good match, is also high.  So we end up on a 2-3 hour, expensive date that goes nowhere.

So what do we do? Do we go to a bar? Nope.  Well we, as guys, know that we have to face rolling eyes, rejection, cold looks, “oh, I’ve got a boyfriend”, wasted money on drinks and no phone number… If you’re a woman, you have to deal being hit on by exactly the guys you don’t want to be hit on by.  And how about that client presentation tomorrow morning?  Not after we stay out until 3 a.m. this morning!

Do we go to Starbucks or the grocery store, or do we rely on our friends to set us up, or do we (shudder) date our work colleagues? The first is dreadfully inefficient, the second, most of us have exhausted all those options, and the last… well, how did that work out for us last time? Badly.

So, we go speed-dating.  It’s the perfect balance.  Check this out:

• We have between 10 and 30 dates of between three and eight minutes.
• Everyone at the bar is single, and everyone wants to meet someone, and there is no face-to-face rejection.
• The crowd tend to be more mature and professional.
• The sheer numbers allow choice and variety.
• Easy, laid back atmosphere creates a safe environment where everyone can be flirty and nice.
• Conversation is light, the atmosphere is relaxed, and adrenalin (and perhaps a bit of alcohol) drives a mood of flirtation.
• It’s inexpensive (how does $2 a date sound!), and it’s efficient.
• The evenings offered are split by age ranges and theme or ethnic/cultural background (”Sporty/Active Singles”, “Creative Singles”, “College Grads”, “Jewish Singles” etc), improving the likelihood that the pool of options shares our interests or background.

Now we can see why a speed dating event offers best bang for our buck.  When was last time we talked to 10 or more new women in two hours?

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