Let’s talk strategy first.  With just minutes to connect with a prospective date, what’s the best way to spend that time?  To make a good impression, create a fun and comfortable exchange.  Ask questions that will help determine if we can carry a conversation.  No matter how curious we are to discover where she is from or what she majored in college, save those interview questions for later.  Our goal here is to have her enjoy the time, and invest in our interaction by talking most of the time.

Start off with a smile.  Women often decide if they like us or not within the first 30 seconds, so must do our best to appear confident and look like we are having a good time.  And we should be.  We just walked away from a bubbly kindergarten teacher who was our last date.  Plus, when we smile, we put the her at ease. That’s always a good strategy for getting to know someone.

What topics are good for these “mini-dates?”  Here’s a list of conversation starters to get the ball rolling easily.  These are opened ended questions that require a person to provide real information. Avoid yes/no questions which tend to create dead ends.  And, don’t forget that if we use these questions, be prepared with our own answers in case the tables are turned and we get asked the same thing!

• Tell me about your favorite vacation? What made it so good?
• If you had a day off next week and plenty of cash, what would you do?
• What makes you smile?
• What’s your favorite kind of food?
• If you could drive any car which one would you choose?
• What’s your favorite holiday memory?
• If you were an animal, what would you be?
• If you could try any job for one day – what would you choose?
• What do you do to relax?
• What’s your favorite movie and why?
• Would you rather spend a day in the woods or at the beach? Why?
• Tell me about a sporting event you’ll never forget

After our date responds, say something to acknowledge her by sharing our own perspective on the topic or say what we liked about the answer.  But we should keep our responses short.  Then we want have her invest more by asking follow-on questions.  Don’t worry about interpreting anything during the conversation itself.  Just remember our goal here is to get her invest more by talking most of the time.  And try keep the vibe fun and playful.

The most important thing about speed dating events is to relax and enjoy meeting new people.  Acquiring the skill for easy chit chat will serve us well in the long run.  Since we never know when we’ll meet “the one” or new friend who will introduce us to the right person, so get out there soon!

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I – N – V – E – S – T – M – E – N – T

That’s right.  We become attracted to anything that we invest our personal time, emotion, and energy into.  Therefore, the key to getting women to want you is to get them to invest in you.  Yes, it is that simple.

With investment someone’s attraction to you grows due to the time or effort they are investing in you.  If you can combine that time or effort with emotions, the amount of their investment multiplies many times.

This is one of the main reason, women feel attractions toward so called, “bad boys” or “jerks”.  Those types of guys don’t do things for women.  Instead, they make women do things for them constantly (Hey, I am not saying you should be one of those guys.  I am just saying that investment principle works, and works well)

Okay, guys.  The simple fact that she is talking to us at all builds her investment in us on a small scale.  This happens because we give greater value to things we have to work towards achieving.  This is why it is almost completely counter productive to attempt to buy your way into someone’s life, and why many dating experts agree that, “Can I buy you a drink?” is a bad way to start conversation with a women.

By investment we are not looking to invest into her, rather we are looking to get her to invest into us. The more we work to achieve something the more value it has to us.  Meanwhile any time another person is spending their time, effort or money on you they are making an investment and essentially attempting to build comfort with you, the effort the put in to you raising your value in their eyes.

There are a number of ways to get someone to invest time into us, however the easiest way is via conversation. A key point to note here is that she must be taking the time to invest effort into the conversation, and the more effort she put into the conversation the more she are investing, and therefore the more likely she will feel attracted towards us.

So how do we use the investment principle in speed dating?  Well, we get her to talk most of the time.  Our goal here is to get her to talk about things that are emotionally relevant for her like her childhood, hopes and dream, family, last vacation, so on and so forth. Got it?  Good.

Source: ‘Attraction Explained‘ by Adam Lyons

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